it all started with my friend's bday, she wanted another friend and i to do shrooms with her, and well me being the adventurous crazy guy that i am i said "eh wth why not" *shrugs* so we each get a baggy w dried up shrooms and they dont really look like what i would imagine shrooms would look like i was picturing an actual mushroom lol kind of like in mario bros. LOL well anyhow we have this bag of twigs and whatever other shit shrooms are, some reese's buttercups and some orange juice because vitamin C is suppose to enhance the hallucinogenics so we start munching on them, actually i just devoured them, chugged some orange juice and waited....and waited.....and waited....and nothing so im thinking this shit is not working so we decided to watch a movie and we picked grandma's boy....so everything is ok...then when the part where he jerks off to the lara croft action figure comes on...the wall behind the tv starts waving like a flag...all the different colors on the tv start dividing and coming out the tv, the voices start becoming distorted......and i am freaking out lol...that shit was tooo awesome, the movie turned impossible to watch because well everyone sounded like the devil and the devil turns out to sound kinda creepy so we turn it off and play some music, i feel like i'm melting and everything starts turning blue and then pink and then black and then blue again but with a gradient to green i am totally tripping, it didnt help that my friends apartment was vividly colored with green walls and then yellow and red and blue and then when i had to pee omg i felt like i was floating i felt like i was just floating to the bathroom and when i get to the bathroom HOLY FUCK!! the tiles where yellow and white and the shower curtain was blue with polka dots except they werent polka dots they were yellow rubber ducky's as you can imagine i was completely freaking out...so i call my brother to come pick me up bc i am tweeking and did not want to be there, i hang up go to the couch and just relax....what feels like an hour passes by and i call my brother back and the conversation goes as follows:
Me - "dude what the fuck?? i've been waiting for like a fucken hour bro come get me seriously im freaking out and i dont wanna be here come get me"
lil bro - "dude chill im taking a piss i'll leave right now"
Me- "WTF?? i called you like a fucken hour ago man!! shit!"
lil bro - "wtf? dude you just called me you called me like a minute ago"
Me - *check phone for the time* "holy fuck ur right? gaaaawwwddd daaayyuuuummm fuck bro lol im tweaking balls man come get me lol"
lil bro -"lol ok"
so i wait another 5 hours...which in real non tweak time is 30 minutes and he comes and gets me and i am struuuuggggllling to get in the car...so once i get in the car music feels awesome and the commercials are tripping me out lol so then i see ppl get off the bus and idk why well actually it was bc i was tripping but i thought that something huge was going on like i felt as if ppl were running from something but nah it was just ppl getting out the bus lol so finally we get home and i tell my brother that i'm just going to tell my mom that i'm tripping on shrooms bc i was seriously tripping on shrooms and i couldnt hide it and then if i did try and hide it i would've been struggling and i woulda been tripping even more bc i would have been asking myself :
"mmmh i wonder if my mom suspects that i'm trippin on shroom? oh fuck i think she does...oh no ! oh no! oh no! oh no!! aaaaaaaahhhh!!!" so i did not want that to happen...so i walk in ...go to the kitchen chug a bottle of water...start laughing bc the water sounded funny...sit in the couch and start laughing at my little 3yr old brother lol but i was laughing and tweaking bc he was talking in his random ass made up english or w.e the fuck he speaks so i didn't know if he was in fact talking like that or if it was me tripping so hard dat i couldnt understand him lol so i ask my mom in spanish:
me - "mom...is ummm....joshua just speaking in tongues? or ....is umm...is it....just umm...me?"
mom - "wth? lol no dats how he talks are you ok?"
me - " mom...uh..i gotta tell you something, but dont get mad ok?"
mom - gives me nothing but a strange look
me - "ok mom...umm...i uh..i ate mushrooms...but not like portobello mushrooms...but like the ones dat make you see shit"
mom - "oh my god! why?? what if you get a heart attack?? where did you get them? imma take you to the hospital! give me the name of who gave them to you!"
me - " man see what the shit! i tell you something im honest with you and you trying to take me to the hospital and shit? nah man and no im not gonna get a heart attack lol wth why would i get that?? lol that makes no sense!"
mom - "oh yeah ur right...lol well idk...ok well lets calm down"
me - "mom just chill out man you're freaking me out, just let me be lol and i'll be good"
mom "ay ok..."
*FIVE MINUTES LATER*
mom - "so....what do you see? do see colors? do you see like little guys? or what? can u understand me?"
me - "umm right now everything is blue even you and i feel really calm...and no no little guys but joshua is freaking me out with his little made up language it scares me lol"
mom - " so no little guys? why not?"
me - "mom wth? what little guys? like goblins? no i dont see goblins why would i ?"
mom - "oh....idk....so no little guys then?"
me - "mom wtf ?? no no little guys wth stop asking that its scary what if i see one and then he attacks me?"
mom - "oh ok....so how do you feel? and is everything still blue or what color now? how about green is stuff green?"
me - " i feel really happy right now and nah everything is pink and orange now"
mom - "oh...so no green?"
me - " mom no"
mom - "oh ok....so is it gone? are u still feeling crazy?"
me " mom it last like 8 hours and yeah"
mom - "8 hours??? omg what if you stay crazy like that? you're already crazy as it is! your gonna be one of those crazy scientist that live with cats"
me -"mom i gotta go you're tripping me out with ur little guys and i think ur high"
so at this moment im walking away and she threw a shoe at me cuz i said that she was high and it nailed me in the forehead but i swear to god that i saw dat shit coming like matrix style why did i not evade it in a badass way i have no clue but it was cool. so i go to my room and change bc my homie G was gonna pick me up to go to lalos and i put on sunglasses a white shirt plaid shorts and a scarf and i thought i looked cool till i saw myself in the mirror and i looked like freaking mix of hobo w johnny depp so i decided to wear a polo and jeans lol
needless to say i was tripping for another hour or so.... so that my shroom story lol
now on to tranny's
ok so last week at this bar there was this asian girl with a bad ass body and big ol titties...except.....shes a dude....LOL now hold on hold on hold on hold on before you go on and call me gay for saying a dude has a bad ass body and big ol titties you have to take into consideration that said "dude" looks like a chick and well could in fact be a chick....if he didnt have a penis lol but then this opens up another question....if lets say you see a chick and she looks fine as hell and you think shes fine but then you learn shes a dude.....like did you just think a dude is fine as hell and now ur gay? or and stay with me on this one...did you think the "girl" was fine but then its not a girl so then wtf? see it gets confusing as fuck, so anyhow this asian girldude was eye fucking the shit out of me like seriously she like gave me a bj w her eyes so i was like umm wtf??...now bear in mind that i was waaaaaaaaaasteeeeeedddd but i was w my bros and they were soberish lol but man can you imagine if i was alone? cuz i thought this asian girl was in fact a girl till they said she was a dude...now there is no way to be certain except one LOL but man oh man...if it werent for my bros i would have probably fallen victim to the trap lol which brings up the questions bc i have seen said girl go home with different guys b4 so we know shes getting laid all the time lol so what percentage of guys do you think actually back off once they see that the happy meal they thought they had acquired comes with a toy LOL i mean by that time you already made out w her and she probably played with ur skinflute lol so then when u about to go downtown you notice that "oh hey whats this weiner doing here? oh shit...ur a dude???? ooooaaaaaahhhhhh noooooooooh" lol i mean the guy is drunk, horny and up till a second a go thought he was about to bang this asian sensation lol so i think that no guy actually back off i think they go like "well fuck it might as well, i'll just make sure to never ever ever go to that club ever again" lol but yeah this a crazy topic bc i was reading online about thailand having a tranny beauty pageant and let me tell you that these trannys made some of the girls at my school look like walruses lol
so heres my thought of the day "trannys are like happy meals, except you may not get the toy you wanted to play with" LOL
p.s.s the girl in the picture is a dude
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